Im happy but there is a heavy feeling of sadness in my heart that I just can't remove. Why am I like this?

For much of my adult life, I interpreted this sadness as something being wrong - with either myself or my life in general.

What I am trying to say is that when you stop trying to change yourself into something you are not, you give yourself the gift of discovering yourself as you already are.

But no matter what I read or practiced, I could never make the sadness budge for longer than a few fleeting moments - and even then, it was likely due to me being distracted from the sensation of sadness rather than anything actually shifting.

Why do people immediately disregard subjects such as flat earth, without opening their minds/taking time to research?

But unlike before, there is no more resistance to the sadness.

When I stopped trying to force myself to be something I am not, I gave myself the freedom of being who I am.

This interpretation lead me on a path of self improvement, to fix what I considered to be “wrong” with myself.

Scientists visualize key protein structures linked to immune response and inflammation - Phys.org

It’s difficult to put into words exactly what caused what, but to the best of my ability to describe it, I felt as if my will to keep fighting was beaten right out of me.

You are like me, then.

I had run out of hope.

What does it mean when a guy says he's afraid of falling for someone else after going through heartbreaks?

It wasn’t until about 10 years ago that I finally fell out of that ferris wheel of trying and failing to fix myself.

What most people don’t know unless they’ve looked more closely is that there is also an element of deep, profound sadness that has always been with me since as long as I can remember.

In the absence of a should, I was free to be as I am.

Why do you write?

Your job is not to be the manager of your life, but the one who discovers yourself fully.

It’s impossible to overstate the freedom and peace I discovered, and I realized the only one who had been keeping those from me was… me and my imagined standards and expectations for how I had imagined I should be.

The sadness was still there.

How do you know if your husband loves you truly and deeply?

It’s the most beautiful and liberating thing in the world.

I was tired of trying and failing.

I was tired of fighting.

What are the easiest stores for shoplifting?

And the sadness?

Now, this may sound like a story of failure and giving up, but it’s actually a story of liberation.

Most people that know me would probably describe me as a social, happy, and somewhat quirky person with a twisted sense of humor.

Which country do you recommend for me to live in, England, the USA, Italy, Spanish, or Austria?

It’s here now, writing to you.

You are the masterpiece you came here to discover.

Without resistance, sadness has a sense of beauty and depth I cannot find otherwise in life.

What are some cute picnic ideas for a romantic date?

So if you are sad - like me - then be sad.

It’s still here.

Needless to say, my failed attempts to fix my sadness simply brought me more pain and suffering.

What do you do when you are struggling to fall asleep?

So I finally threw my hands up and said something to the tune of “fuck it, since I can't seem to change, I’ll just be whatever I am then.”

Be who you already are.